Top 5 Really Bad Jesus Apps

Top 5 Really Bad Jesus Apps

In a lax moment with the youth the other day I asked them to look through their app stores (notice I didn’t need to tell them to pull out their phones, or iPodTouch) and find the craziest faith based apps. We then proceeded to have quite the conversations on various apps that we found. Afterwards I had to dive deeper into the world of faith based apps to start to un-earth some of the best and worst for this week.

Today I am sharing with you my:

TOP 5 Really Bad Jesus Apps

Note: Yes, these are just iPhone apps. I could be a more thorough journalist and cross check the Android store, but seriously, this is just a simple blog posting

5. I See Jesus

Top 5 Really Bad Jesus Apps

This gets the five spot because I might actually buy this one. It takes an image of Christ and lays it over your photos that you have always been wanting to have Christ on. Basically a slam on all the Jesus images on food or overpass type things. Now, you can actually have that.

4. Texts from Jesus

Top 5 Really Bad Jesus Apps

The youth loved the idea of this one. Basically you can get text messages from Jesus with his sayings (I love how the description of the app says “only the New Testament”). But what the youth really loved was that they didn’t have to get their Texts from Jesus in a stodgy King James Version, they could get Jesus every day in Hip Hop or LOLcat versions as well. Now who wouldn’t want to sign up for that! There is a Free & Pro version. Not sure which one I linked to.

3. Talking Jesus Christ

Top 5 Really Bad Jesus Apps

Now who all doesn’t want to hear from the Lord Jesus Christ every once in awhile? I know I do, so this bobble head doll (circa Monty Python Holy Grail style) app looking Jesus was just what I was looking for. Okay maybe not. I think mostly I was offended by the description as having Jesus whenever I want… on my phone?.. and that you can “Prey with Jesus” (Freudian slip?). My favorite is one of the reviewers for the app. They said this and I echo their commentary “Why?”

2. Where’s Jesus

Top 5 Really Bad Jesus Apps

We all search for Christ sometime in our lives. Who knew that Jesus was a hippie taking after the Where’s Waldo craze, just happens to be two decade plus some years behind the popularity.. So if you want some hide and seek fun with your Jesus (within his biblical context) you can totally download this app now and test out how long it takes you to recognize Jesus. Thinking that those fellas on the walk to Emmaus would really suck at this game.

 1. Jesus Jump

Top 5 Really Bad Jesus Apps

So you have trouble believing that the Christ that died rose from the dead and went to heaven? No problem. You can help Jesus Christ finish his business and get to heaven by jumping from cloud to cloud until he gets there. Or.. dies trying?… So not only does this make my theological self scream Wrong in every way they totally ripped off the Buddy Christ face for Jesus. Shame on you designers for taking two things I love (the resurrection and dogma) and made them un-holy. I won’t even go there with the karate outfit. More fun to this game is that it is connected to the app stores ‘game center’ so you can compete with others on the top spot of getting Jesus to heaven.

So there is my Top 5 Really Bad Jesus apps. Feel free to search some out for yourself (or double check the Android marketplace to see if these are there as well, thanks ahead of time) and share some links. I will be busy for the rest of the day putting Jesus’ face on my steaks that will be on the grill.

About Gavin Richardson

guy, husband, dad, church communicator, youth pastor, youth ministry trainer, dog owner, social media participant anthropologist, writer, speaker, internet community builder, bill payer, bit monastic, co-creator of but not necessarily in that order


  1. Josh Tinley says:

    Just downloaded Jesus Jump. Thanks for the tip.

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